clean new slate

i thought since i was no longer at school i should start a clean new slate :)
so far my new slate is going pretty well, i have left all the ridiculous drama behind.
i have apologised to people for being a bitch to them, still a few to say it to-but not sure if its the best thing to do maybe leave them. hahaa
i've also decided its better to just trust myself and make myself happy rather than depend on someone else to do it.
in the past few days i've found out i had a really good friend who i have never really treated at a best mate before, he is so understanding, wise:P and to be honest kinda hot :D he thinks he can "relate to me" he's my new big brother and i love him for all his advice on life and help with decision makings and for givin me random lifts here and there at ridiculous times like tonight for example haahaa.
man united lost the champions league tonight, was gutting but was a good night at rachaels though cos she had a wee party :)

seen as its a clean new slate an all that, i wanted to clear up alot of shit with a girl that i thought hated me and vice versa....
hazel is awesome, she is super pretty and really nice, im glads we are talking now cos she is a really nice girl :) thanks for listening to what i had to day, meant a lot that you didn't laugh in my face, you really deserve a decent guy who will treat you like a princess :) x

so i've rambled through this blog, means everything though even though i have had a few big drinks at rachaels :P i really am turning over a new leaf :D gooo me!!!!!!!!!!

teehee

RSPSW - it's the way forward
:)
also apologising to people where we have had complete misunderstanding has made me feel happy and good about myself.
speaking my mind has also made me feel good about myself
:)
yaaaaaay
x

:)

what an amazing day, done bugger all at school though-was meant to finish my art folio, instead i had a carry on with the people who make me genuinely happy, not the fake happy i've been for several weeks now. they did make me want to no longer go to prom though because i am going to get my drink spiked, put in a sak and dragged into the room of he who shall not be named haahaa.
looking forward to it ;)

and did you know 1 slag + 1 slag = a couple of slags who are most likely both cheating on eachother haahaa. our simple maths skills amazed me today.

ooh yeah thanks for making it obvious to me today that i can do so much better than you, god only knows what was going through my head, anyways that was a regret in my life and i will learn from it (lesson; when his pals call him a dick, listen to them!) i've completely swiped that chapter from my life as i don't want to remember any of it.
:):):):):)
toonight will be gooooooooooooood.

im done with being lied to
im done with all the pathetic drama
im done with the constant worry
im done with it.
and done with you.

and for the first time im not going to depend on someone else to make me happy. i'll learn to make myself happy.
i know i won't lie to myself and i know i can trust myself!

..............

i don't think i can do it anymore.
i can no longer act like it doesn't bother me, cos underneath the smile i've been wearing its ripping me to shreads and breaking my heart.
i hate having to be the one to always question everything, but no one else will.
its asif she is always in your head i try to brush it off but im not doing it anymore.
i can't.

speaking of thinking

i think farrr too much.
someone told me something really special on monday, it made me smile but at the same time made me question everthing and basically after hearing what i heard it just made me feel confused and made things complicated.
however people are entitled to their opinions and have the right to say what they want.
but please you can't say things if you don't plan on acting on them, thats just stupid.
anyway im going to stop thinking about it.

<3

this girl, yes the one in the picture, well she is my best friend, always has been and always will be forever more. she will always come first no matter what.

she has been there for me through everything, and i have done the same for her. fair enough together we can be quite intimidatingly loud and ridiculous, but i wouldn't change her or our friendship for all the money in the world.

we have been friends since primary 3, when i moved school-and she was in my class. we were friends straight away. since then minus when one of us is on holiday we see eachother everyday, even if its just a 10minute walk or a full day. when we were at school we would see eachother everyday, most nights after school also. then we would work together all weekend. we have been to spain together twice and never get sick of eachother, we have never had a falling out, yes we've had our minor arguments but hours later we would just laugh at how silly we had been.

we gossip, we bitch, we laugh, we drink, we watch crap movies that no one would even give a chance, we make up silly poems at 3 in the morning *a nuns boob ahemmm*, we attempt to bake cakes, we shop a ridiculous amount, we come out with the most ridiculous phrases and sentences that no one understands, we make yer da jokes until one of us crosses the line-always me, we take far too many photos and have one million and one memories, we are always given dirty looks because we are immature and loud but we don't care.

anyways it wasn't until tonight that i thought about all this and realised, she is moving to aberdeen in september for uni, and it was then i thought.... oh my god im not going to see louise everyday or just go visit her to talk and have a carry on with her. she will go to uni and obviously make friends and we will probably hardly see eachother. and once i thought about all of this i realised how much i am actually going to miss her and all the little things i take for granted, like just seeing a friendly face when your feeling like crap.

so im going to make this the best summer ever!! and make the most of the few months left :)

i loveeee youuu louiseeeey always will, can't believe how much im going to miss you.

happppppppppy ever after

graduation was today, didn't know what to expect cos it seemed so surreal that i was never going to have to go back to school and this was the last time i was going to see the majority of peoples faces.
anyway it turned out to be the best friggin day ever. after the whole graduation stuff we went and got water guns, water balloons, 65 litres of water, soap, alcohol and a big plastic sheet.
we then had the best fun in the sun ever known to humanity!
was a brilliant way to say goodbye to my fellow sixth years. ganging up on conor was the mostest fun. then lying in the sun trying to dry off-next thing you know someone had chucked a water balloon which explodes in yer face. HAHA thanks. farrr toooo many memories in that schooool and im happy to say the majority of them are all giiiiiiiiiiid
i just wannna sayyy farewell to those who i will probs never see again, to those of you who i will see always...unlucky cos you aint got rid of me yet! haha
well i needs to find something to do in the weekdays haahaa.

to make my day even better........... me and louise are going to london on the 17th august to see the one and only MICHAEL JACKSON
im soo blooooody excited its unreal, once in a lifetime opportunity liiiiikess.
:):):):):):):):):)

i love mines friends they are the ultimate bestestestestness.

i hate taylor swift but i found this song appropriate

:)


Hey Steven, I know looks can be deceiving
But I know I saw a light in you
And as we walked we were talking
I didn't say half the things I wanted to
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Hey Steven, boy, you might have me believing
I don't always have to be alone
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself
Hey Steven, I've been holding back this feeling
So I got some things to say to you
I've seen it all, so I thought
But I never seen nobody shine the way you do
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
Hey Steven, why are people always leaving?
I think you and I should stay the same
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself
Hey Steven, I could give you fifty reasons
Why I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful
But would they write a song for you?
I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself


i love you.<3

.

i love saying hiya to you, your hiyas are amazing.
i love how you've opened up to me now and i know what your thinking.
thanks
you make me sooooooo happy even when your being a gimp.
:)
i've learnt to trust you so don't break that trust please (L)
your my wee spesh and i love you.
x

sunday in general

was awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
was mega sunny which put me in a extremely good mood then went a walk and ended up lying on a concrete circle with this guy who seems to think he's my toyboy.....he couldn't be anymore wrong, cos hes my happy pill. (L)

cribage was hilarious! and cribage is getting done more often.
i love my friends and i love gossiping about people we all share a disliking for (yes my no bitching didn't last) and i love getting drunk with my friends even more.
louise thought it would be a good idea to mix peach schnapps with champagne....just because it said on the bottle you could. i swear i've never tasted anything so booooog in all my life.
haaahaaa.
then swingin and running round the cheeky wee door thing was ace. made lots of noise but was ace. standing outside having a fag was giddd the sky was pretty and looked even nicer cos i wassss a lil steaminnnn.

overalll was a good day/night even if i did end up with louise's knee in my back several times through the night, and then had her saying she couldn't sleep cos the shadows and the prospect of "getting raped by the shadows" hawhaw

:):):):):):):):):):)